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Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Robbing a homeward bounder

Let's all discover (the wonders of) the Discovery Channel, part 1.

I have to say, I was never a very big fan of the Discovery Channel before I got married, but marriage has resulted in many efforts to find things we both like and much of the fare on Discovery fits the bill (as do the shows on the Food Channel, another of our mutual faves). TV-wise, actually, I have learned to watch many things I never imagined since getting hitched: football (which I can still only stand in short doses and only with a "flip to," another show we visit during commercials), golf (which now holds quite a bit of appeal for me since I have discovered its narrative qualities and hit a few balls at the driving range), interminable war documentaries (actually, I have not learned to watch these at all. The grainy black and white images of planes give me hives.), etc. And as it turns out, most of my very favorite non-narrative original programming has made its way to the Discovery Channel. Which makes both me and the husband happy. So, in the interests of saving your precious viewing time, I'll just run through my top Discovery shows and the reasons why they have found a place in my ever fickle affections.

Cash Cab: This is, by far, the BEST GAME SHOW EVER!!! Its simplicity is striking yet its appeal is undeniable. Anyone I have convinced to actually watch the show has become an instant fan. Genuine cab driver with genuine sense of humor picks up unsuspecting fares in New York City and invites them to play a game of trivia in the Cash Cab. They are given general knowledge trivia questions worth increasing dollar amounts as they drive to their destinations. They get a mobile phone and a street shout out and two strikes to help them earn as much money as possible along the way, but on the third strike he kicks them out of the cab where ever they are. At the end, if they have survived the ride with cash, he gives them the chance to go double or nothing on a video bonus question. I know, it sounds absolutely boring, but it's as compelling a reality show as I've seen in a long time. One, Ben the host is hilarious, in that I-could-be-one-of-your-funny-friends-from-college kind of way. B, the people he picks up really are a cross section of those found on NYC streets, everyone from Mormon tourists from Utah to SoHo boho hipsters to elderly Jewish women to urban-riche families with much too precocious kids to the president of a fortune 100 company (he did not take the chance to double up, by the way. Hmm, a lesson for us all?). Three, the street shout outs restore my faith in humanity's ultimate generosity and general knowledge abilities. Finally, the questions are, as my friend Amy puts it, "easy, easy, easy, easy, hardest question you ever heard in your life, easy, easy, easy," which helps with the appeal. The randomness of the level of dificulty makes you want to go ride in a cab in New York because you could totally score some major cash!

It Takes a Thief: reformed felons (raspy-voiced, lithe John is now a private eye, and slightly stout, smiley people-person Matt is an elementary school teacher) convince New Yorkers and NJ-surburbanites to let them try to break into and rob their homes in exchange for a total security overhaul. And people consent. And people get robbed while watching the deed happen on close circuit television. And when they confront the villian, John, he shames them with how easy it was. The show cleans up the mess and installs elaborate customized security systems, and then the robbers return unannounced a few weeks later and try to break in a second time to see if the family has learned the errors of its ways. Best part of this show: watching the families whilst they are being robbed. Without fail, they make naive, innane, clueless comments like "he has no respect!" or "I can't believe he dumped out my drawer" or "oh my gawd, he's found the passports and all my unsigned credit cards and our social security cards and our checks that we 'hid' so stealthily in that shoebox on our desk" or, my personal favorite, "I better not run into this guy on the street or I'm gonna punch him!" Remember, they consented to this little exercise and were even told in advance to lock up their house and valuables as vigilantly as possible. People are so ridiculous. Second best part: over half the time, even after the installation of video surveillance, smash-proof glass, keyless locks, and portable deadbolts, to name a few of the kinds of improvements they make, John still gets back in on the next visit. And they wait inside the house for the family to return, to their deep chagrin--the family's, not the robbers. They clearly, clearly love what they do, especially this part. And so do I! Rob some more, boys!

coming soon: Survival (in Canada!), Dirty Jobs, and Mythbusters.

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