Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I'm trying to be like Jesus

Three tales from early morning seminary:

Teacher: What kind of wars are we currently involved in?

Student 1: The war on terror.

Student 2: The war on drugs.

Student 3: The war against pirates.

Teacher: Umm, sure...

Student 4: The nuclear arms war.

Teacher: We actually refer to that as the nuclear arms race.

Student 4: The Cold War.

Teacher: Actually, that war is over now and has been for a little while.

Student 5: And we can't forget World War II.

Teacher: The question was what wars are we CURRENTLY engaged in, so World War II doesn't qualify.


Teacher: Let's see how many of the sins outlined by Paul in 2 Timothy are happening around us today.

Student 1: Why is covetousness a sin?

Teacher: Well, it involves several sins, such as pride, jealousy--

Student 1: (interrupting agitatedly) But why is it a sin to say "I want what he has so I am going to work really hard to get it."

Teacher: It's not, because ambition is not the same as coveting. As I was saying, coveting involves--

Student 1: (still interrupting) But if I want what other people have and I'm willing to work for it, how is that coveting?

Teacher: (sighing) To review, it's not. Once again, coveting is--

Student 1: But, BUT BUTBUTBUT

(and I think you get the idea--it went on like this for quite some time.)


Student 6: I have a question: why does God keep tricking the Jews?

Teacher: Umm, tricking? What do you mean by tricking, exactly?

Student 6: Well, he keeps telling them they are the chosen people, and then he says "na na na na NAH na" and punishes them.

Teacher: I don't think He says quite THAT, and there is a bit more to the story, as you would know if you had been paying attention ALL last year when we covered the Old Testament, but, to put a couple thousand years in a nutshell...


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