Last week there was not a lot of TV watching going on in the Mania(h) household, largely because we were so gosh darn busy with, you know, that other stuff, the stuff of real life (blah blah blah). I watched all the usual prime-time suspects, but nothing earth-shattering happened, except for SPOILER ALERT (and I really mean it! skip to the next paragraph please, Veronica Mars fans) the second brush with rape for our intrepid post-feminist Nancy Drew that was, in a word, horrifying. But fabulous in the very visceral nature of the horror. Love it, love it!
I did, however, in preparation for Thanksgiving, watch quite a few bits of the Food Network, so let me quickly toss off the paean to food tv required by anyone who is a member of my demographic and has a television.
I love the Food Network. That's it, simply and concisely. I love the cheesy graphics, the attempting-to-be-hip programming that doesn't quite make it, the absolutely-not-hip programming about pie baking contests that does, the raspy announcer for the ever-increasing number of food competitions, and the ever-expanding roster of "personalities" with which the network fills its hours. Some of my faves?
Ray-ray, of course, but only the early version of her show. She is a bit too grating and loud and caricature-ish now, with too many highlights. I like the pre-Oprah clone days of Racheal Ray, thank you. But how can I not get behind a show about cooking taking less than 30 minutes? And involving huge amounts of garlic, onions, and cumin? Actually, Ray-ray inspired my current favorite holiday recipe, which is based on her five-minute fudge wreath recipe. The directions are the same, except I use caramel swirl chips instead of butterscotch (which were too cloyingly sweet) and pecans and mini-marshmallows instead of walnuts and currants (because why in the world would you use walnuts if you had a choice and raisins or any of their cousins should not be in fudge) and I decorate with M&M's colored to match the season (red and green for Christmas) instead of with candied fruit to make my super-rocky rocky road fudge wreaths, which have been a big hit for the past year or so.
Sandra Lee's semi-homemade recipes are usually fabulous (I like the 70% store bought, 30% homemade formula), though I am pretty sure she is an alkie (WAY too many cocktail recipes and too much sampling of the products) and manic-depressive with OCD besides, which you would have to be to manage her elaborate "tablescapes."
Paula Dean reminds me of my mother, though, thankfully, my mother stopped cooking like Dean years ago (butter, butter, fried, more butter), so I watch her for nostalgia reasons, because I would never serve most of her dishes in a world in which no one's cholesterol needs any help getting ever higher. I once watched her make a casserole that has to be the most unhealthy dish I have ever seen: white bread, cheddar cheese, ham, bananas (I know, right?), crushed potato chips, bacon, eggs, milk, AND heavy cream. The only way this could be worse, I suppose, would be to add lard, but the dish doesn't really need it to be over the top, as with most of her recipes. (Her sons are cute, though their current show is odd. But, to review, cute. So who cares?)
Bobby Flay's current show, Throw Down, in which he challenges people to cook their signature dish and compare it with his version, is genius, much better than Boy Meets Grill where he made his name. The show has him criss-crossing the country competing with local luminaries in grilling, cake decorating, chowder-making, etc. And he doesn't always win! Plus he's cute, too.
That being said, I don't love everything. I am not that much a slave to pretty lighting and behind the scenes sous chefs in the Food Network kitchens (though I would pay money to tour them, don't get me wrong). I find Emeril unwatchable. BAM! I find Tyler's incessant "okays" and "rights" insufferable. The new "Healthy Appetite with Ellie Krieger" rubs me the wrong way, with her self-righteous and regressive commentary about showing love to her husband by packing him a healthy, homemade, elaborate lunch every day. If I never see another insane cake decorating contest, it will be too soon. I like very clear lines between cooking, which I think I can do relatively well, and sculpture, which I know I can't. It's all about me.
1 comment:
The best cooking shows feature recipes that are simple but have spectacular results. Rachael Ray's recipes are simple, but totally uninspired. One of my personal favorites: Doctored-Up Hummus. "Buy tub of hummus; mix stuff into it." Brilliant. What's next, how to put extra pepperoni on a frozen pizza? I don't know about the fudge recipe you describe, but your variant sounds tasty and in fact largely independent from her original idea. Don't give Rachael Ray credit for your ability to experiment in the kitchen.
The one person on the Food Network from whom I ever actually learn anything is Alton Brown. His show is smart and includes just enough explanation of why things work to make the techniques really stick in your head. But I expect that his eager, science-club-president style could irritate some people.
Also, I really like watching Giada De Laurentiis's show, because, well, I like watching Giada De Laurentiis.
You know, several Food Network personalities suffer from the same problem -- emphasizing, to the point of caricature, weird mannerisms and catchphrases. Rachael Ray, Emeril Lagasse - I presume they are driven by the marketing machine to turn themselves into a product/brand that is simple, predictable, and easy for most consumers to remember and purchase. Personally, I prefer the people who are somewhat more authentic and place more emphasis on the food and the technique, like Paula Dean, Sara Moulton, and Alton Brown...but these types are obviously less successful as commercial products. Which suggests to me a deeper problem - in an era when very few people actually cook, the food celebrity becomes the more important product than the food. Sadly, most people are more likely to buy a Rachael Ray magazine or an Emeril Lagasse branded bag of potato chips then they are to actually COOK a good meal for their friends and family...
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