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Saturday, December 01, 2007

If it happened to you

The second of the three showers was Thursday night. It began inauspiciously with me running into a storm drain and popping a tire while parking in front of the venue. I was forced to call in other people's husbands to help change the tire (because I couldn't even lift the donut out of the back of the car or bend down to remove the hubcap, let alone pump up the jack and because the husband was working swing shift) and then the donut was flat, but more on that later.

However, we got the car squared away and the festivities ensued. There was a ton of food, most of which I sampled, including bacon-wrapped water chestnuts which sound bizarre but are in fact heaven (there is some teriyaki glaze involved--nummy) and assorted cookies and veggies and dips and gingerbread cake and it was all lovely. This is my favorite part of being pregnant: eating whatever I want at parties! I scoff at calories and fat grams right now!

The party was friendly and relaxed and attended by many people, with some low-key games involved, one of which was odd: we were given words and then had to complete the word with one other word to make a phrase, kind of like word association, but the trick was everyone had to guess what I would choose to follow the words presented. Once I understood the game, I announced that we were all doomed because there were very few people in the world who could follow my train of thought, including the husband. There were lots of words like baby and boy and mother and then random words like best and dog. And everyone was in fact doomed, because my answers included mother-lode, dog-leg, best-buy, and blue-hawaii. People were not amused.

The gifts were plentiful, mostly clothes, but also lotions and potions and toys and blankets and an amusing little cone-shaped invention made out of terry-cloth called a Pee-Pee Tee-Pee. Yes folks, you put these little devices on the little boy's, umm, private part while changing diapers so he can't squirt you before you get the new diaper on. Who knew such a thing existed? But all the boy-moms swore by them. So we shall see. To me, they looked like tiny party hats for dolls.

I drove home on the donut after driving to a gas station and trying and failing to inflate it further. I enlisted the help of some drunk guy in the parking lot who was able to fill it up but kept calling me baby and was seemingly oblivious to the fact that I was having a baby instead. Then I went to the tire store in the morning, got two new tires and an alignment and a healthy fear of storm drains in the bargain.

Then the last of my showers was Saturday afternoon, a decorous affair at my boss' house involving punch and cookies and pound cake and just a few people and a few babies. Once again, clothes but also a boppy nursing pillow and a baby bouncer and baby tupperware, so more useful things. I think in the future I will not be buying people any more clothes for baby showers. I mean, they are cute, of course, but now I have a kicking wardrobe for the baby and no diapers, bottles, nursing pads, etc., those things we will need immediately to, you know, keep the baby alive. Oy and vey! So, that's next on the agenda: stuff to maintain life.

4 comments:

Kenny, Linsey and Caleb said...

two words: store credit - he won't be able to wear all the clothes anyway (we have an embarrassing number of things still with tags) - and a bottle or two is kind of critical...

Lilita said...

yes, that's what I am thinking, at least for some of the more strange outfits, because, hello? why not??

joyful704 said...

a pee pee tepee. what in the world? it is really just all about speed when changing a diaper!

Lilita said...

that's what I had assumed but apparently some enterprising inventor out there came up with these little devices and is marketing them up the wazoo. Seriously, can you imagine?