Thursday, February 21, 2008

Over the borderline

I had my six week postpartum checkup today, which went relatively smoothly considering Jacob decided to be awake the entire time. One of the nurses stole him away, ostensibly so I could change and be examined but really so she could wander around cooing at him and showing him off. All of that was fine with me, since I didn't see how I was going to rock his carseat whilst up on the examination table. Talented I am, but not that talented. Or that flexible, actually.

My doctor is pregnant herself, due in May, and she is planning on naming her son Andrew James. The husband calls my doctor an Amazon, and it was only at my last prenatal visit, when I passed by her while walking out, that I understood what he meant. She is 6' 2" if she's a foot and not a small woman, but I had not noticed since I always interacted with her while sitting at close to eye level on the table. She is close to my age, which I have found comforting quality in my doctors. Her husband is a pediatric oncologist who works in the children's hospital with the husband, so we have lots in common, which is also comforting.

According to all the measurements, I am now officially fine. Unofficially, things still aren't working as well as they should be in some areas (I will spare you more graphic details about what and where, but use your imagination and you're probably right), but we have come up with a plan to get back to some semblance of order some time soon.

She asked about my mental status, and I was happy to report, as regular readers may already have gathered, that I am doing quite well mentally. I have my moments of not-Zen, of course, but all in all I have stayed remarkably stable during this whole post-baby period. Part of my success in this area has been a blessing, pure and simple, but part of it has been a conscious decision on my part to be as calm as possible at all times, to stave off the previously inevitable high-stress meltdowns that have plagued me in the past. I surmised going in that there were going to be some incredibly stressful moments and my habit of dealing with stress by not dealing or by freaking out was not going to cut it. Funnily enough, I was right! But my ability to make and keep this decision has also been a blessing. As they say here in the South, I am living a blessed life!

She also asked if we were planning to have another child and all I could do was stare at her and think "how???" because I really can't fathom such a thought right this second, in the midst of the no sleep craziness. So this was a short conversation, since "seriously?" was apparently a good enough answer for her.

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