Saturday, February 20, 2010

L is for Large

First, Happy Birthday to my sister! Yay!

As for me, I'm in that galumph stage of pregnancy. Even though I haven't gained as much weight as I did last time (50 lbs. last time *gasp*), I still feel unwieldy.

Everything takes a whole lot more effort....

I have mastered the crucial art of the grunt whilst getting in and out of bed. Actually, getting in and out of bed has become a whole involved ritual which also features leaning on the bedroom wall to get my balance before I pass out from dizziness.

Most of my cuter (and that term is VERY relative) maternity clothes either no longer fit, or I am so tired of looking at them I can't bear to put them on. The rest make me look like a very unseasonal houseboat, not a good look for me.

I move at the speed of a sick sloth who may be in the early stages of dementia.

Actually, I may be in the early (or late) stages of dementia myself. I wandered around Walmart today, looking for the two things on my list, and walked out with three totally different things instead.

I tried to walk past the cart in the grocery store and somehow wedged myself against the steam cleaner display so hard I managed to bruise my stomach. How does somebody DO something like that??

Poor J is still assuming I will pick him up when asked, but most days I simply cannot summon the strength and have to put him off in creative ways. When I do give in, I have to make sure we are braced against the wall or the side of his crib or, you know, ballast of some kind so I don't topple over.

And forget about bending over! There is all kinds of clutter on my floor that I despair of ever getting to before this pregnancy ends because I simply can't reach the items in question. All I can do is shake my head in dismay whenever J dumps out one of his baskets of toys because I know the contents will stay right where they land for at least a week, most likely longer, until I can get down on the floor and get them, a feat I will only attempt when the husband is in the house or else I'll have to stay down there until he appears.

In short (long?), I am large, which is a very large problem.


Betsy said...

Feel free to ignore this. Midwives and doulas told me that women used to scrub the kitchen floor to go into labor. Perhaps getting on hands and knees to sort clutter could serve the same purpose. I know for me bending over was definitely not possible, but I could move around on the floor on all fours -- it was getting up and down that was the tough part. Beware that your toddler will probably attempt to climb on top of you while doing this.

Betsy said...

P.S. This is a good time to teach your toddler to pick up his own stuff. This worked for me: place a coveted toy in view but out of reach. When Toddler J asks for coveted toy, tell him he can have it as soon as he picks up XYZ. I hope you have him climbing into his car seat by himself! They are so hard to pick up when you are large and in charge pregnant!