Wednesday, February 03, 2010

The price I'm willing to pay

The end is coming, but not soon enough. After all my willing this next baby to come early, I found out last night that the renovation of the Labor and Delivery floor of my hospital won't be done until the first week in March AND the awesome nurse I had for most of my previous labor is already scheduled to be on duty on my actual due date. Okay, okay, I get it, he's not supposed to come early. FINE!! But in the meantime, could someone tell that to my contractions, which are getting increasingly frequent and painful though also painfully intermittent? Thanks.

This stage of pregnancy (like all the rest) is NOT my favorite. I am verging on immobile, never getting any restful sleep, suffering from back and muscle aches of all varieties, feeling much too full most of the time, incapable of bending over or even sitting for extended periods, and having horrific anxiety dreams when I do finally fall asleep. I won't even share those; they're too terrible. I did finally replace our defunct baby monitor, and the new model works like a charm, so at least the worry that I will never hear J in the mornings until he's absolutely hysterical is alleviated now. But that is just one small bright spot in an otherwise large, dark expanse of yuck.

This is one of those moments when I read these gushing pregnancy/birth stories on the mommy blogs and just roll my eyes with abandon. The only difference for me is that this time around, at least, I do feel like there is an identifiable little person in there, whereas with J, I was really never 100% sure an actual baby was going to arrive; it was all too surreal to imagine at the time. Of course, if this child's traits hold true when he arrives, we are going to have ourselves yet another kid who is a constant mover and who is difficult to soothe, but I'm hoping that this is just a condition of his being cramped in a much too small womb and instead he will be a delightfully easy child who loves to sleep. Anyone else out there who wants to pray for that outcome is welcome to do so along with me!

1 comment:

Linsey said...

In womb behavior is deceiving. Caleb never moved and Isaac never stopped. Their after birth antics were and continue to be most days the complete opposite.

Hang in there, as you know, the end is the worst. But, when it's over you can pass along your maternity clothes to some deserving young thing and move onto renewing your wardrobe with things you're willing to be caught dead in.